State of the Human: Dying
In this episode, we’re going to think about death. All things must come to an end, but that does not mean death is all ending. What can death teach us about life? Featuring special reflections on death at the beginning and end of the show by Lazarre and Simone Elias, aged 6 and 9.
Dying Stories & Transcripts

Death Cafe
Transcript for Dying
Introduction
Narrator: “In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.”
Kid: I don’t even know what that means.
Isabella: From the Stanford Storytelling Project, this is State of the Human. Each episode, we look at a universal human experience, like, caregiving, or lying, and tell stories to deepen our understanding of that experience.
Narrator: “Death is a wild night and a new road.”
Kid 2: that means bad and good. A new road means doing a new thing and that’s good.
Isabella: Today we’re bringing you stories about Death and Dying.
Narrator: "After all, to the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure"
Isabella: I’m Isabella Tilley, and those were quotes about death by Benjamin Franklin, Emily Dickinson, and Dumbledore, read by Simone and Lazarre.
They’re 9 and 6, so they don’t think a lot about death, but honestly,... neither do I.
It’s kind of a hard and scary thing to think about.
No matter how young or old we are, or how much “life experience” we have, no one who’s alive ...knows what it’s like to be dead. We only know what it’s like to live.
We’re gonna think a lot about death today. Not because we want to know what it’s like to be dead, but because we want to learn more ...about life.
What can death teach us about living?
Today we look at life, through death
Kid: That thing, where you can tell how long someone’s been dead by the amount of bugs on them. Forensic entomology.
Today we’ll hear from people who are dying, people who have already died, and, of corpse, people who are still alive and just trying to make sense of it all.
Kid 1: I’ve ate a dead animal before.
Mom: You’ve eaten a dead animal before?
Kid 2: Of course you have!
Kid: Are you gonna add all of this on the podcast?
Allie: No no no
Story 1: Ghost Tour
The first time I visited Stanford, I took a campus tour. The tour guide told us that the full name of the university is... Leland Stanford, Jr. University…. It’s named after a boy who died of typhoid at 15.
After he died, his parents, Jane and Leland Sr., built this university to honor him.
I can’t speak for all the students here, but I don’t really think about Leland Jr. that much. … yet we wouldn’t even be here if Leland Jr. didn’t die.
Lecturer Jake Warga gives campus tours too -- ghost tours -- because he wants to remind us that the history of Stanford...isn’t dead.
TK: Life built upon death.
FIRST LINE: On the morning in October 1974 a night watchmen named Mr. Crawford opens the doors to MemChu, Memorial Church, and discovered the body of 19 year-old Arliss Perry.
LAST LINE: Would any of us be here today if Leland Stanford Jr. hadn’t died so tragically young? This question didn’t send a shiver down our spine, but in the end, this is what we walked away from our tour with.
That story was produced by Nikhil Raghuraman (nihk-HIHL ruhg-HOO-rah-mihn), Mike Mahowald (Mike MUH-hold), and Warren Christopher (W-oh-ren Christopher) for a class at Leland Stanford Junior University.
I remember the first time I realized I was going to die, when I was a little kid. The idea of not existing anymore freaked me out. I couldn’t sleep I was crying so much.
I asked my mom how old she was, and she told me. She was in her 40s at the time, but I didn’t have any concept of numbers, so I got scared that she was going to die soon. 40-something just seemed so old. I spent days worrying about it.
Now that I’m older, the thought of death doesn’t bring me to tears, but most of the time...I just try not to think about it.
For some people, though, facing the reality of death makes it a bit less scary.
Story 2: Death Cafe
In our next story, Michelle Chang drives around the country hosting “death cafes,”...a place for strangers to gather...and talk openly about death.
Death Cafe: Chang. Goes on road trip.
TK: Death is not the end of a friendship; “finding life in death cafes”
FIRST LINE: “Adeeb is someone I met as the best friend of my boyfriend in high school.”
LAST LINE: “I didn’t see my relationship end on X day. Adeeb’s name in Benglai means life. That’s what I was looking for: life.”
That story was produced by Will Shan.
When I was 14, my great aunt told me something that I still think about today. We were talking about getting old. I said I was scared of getting to her age. I only knew what it was like to have most of my life ahead of me, not behind me. My great aunt laughed, and told me that once you get past a certain age, you stop caring about things like that. She was satisfied with the life she had already lived, so she wasn’t worried about death.
Story 3: Claudia Bicen
For our next story, we talked to Claudia Bicen, a San Francisco artist, who interviewed nine different hospice patients even older than my great aunt about what it was like to be dying.
Claudia created life-size portraits for each of the patients, and in each person’s clothing, she wrote out parts of the interviews. At exhibits, she plays clips of the interviews, so that you can actually hear the person you’re seeing. The project is called “Thoughts in Passing.”
Artist Story: Claudia.
TK: Lost fear of her own death, blueprint how to live her own life; live without ending with regrets.
FIRST LINE: It was one day. I don't remember the day right this very second. I was probably six or seven or eight but the anguish of thinking of feeling of realizing that I would die one day was overwhelming.
LAST LINE: Randy. Harlen. Ora. Osamu. Daniel. Bert. Judith. Jenny. Ena.
That story was produced by Aparna Verma.
Story 4: Dia De Los Muertos
I’ve only been to a few funerals before. The most recent one was after my great-uncle died. I mostly remember that everyone was really somber, and everyone dressed in black. There wasn’t any music.
I couldn’t wrap my head around the shock of losing someone, and no one really seemed to be talking about it. It kind of just felt like a way for family to come together and catch up, but with less laughter than our usual Christmas party.
There’s a festival in Mexico where families come together to celebrate ancestors and loved ones who have passed away. it’s called Día de Muertos, or Day of the Dead. It’s a tradition that traces back to Aztec festivals from hundreds of years ago.
We started our show asking what we can learn about life from death in our final story we go to San Francisco for the annual Day of the Dead parade that celebrates life and death. In our final story we learn about life through celebrating the dead to see how people celebrate life in the of death, and how they remember their loved ones.
FIRST LINE: What do you see, Allie?
LAST LINE: You guys is not dead yet. You stay with us and we keep you in the heart and the mind.
That story was produced by Regina Kong, Lena Lee, and me, Isabella Tilley.
Show Outro:
Kid: “To be a happy person, one must contemplate death five times daily”
Allie: Do you think that’s true?
Kid: No.
Allie: Why not?
Kid: Because then you wouldn’t live at all. You can’t think about thinking about something everyday.
I don’t want to think about death 5 times a day -- but I do think about this quote from poet Mary Oliver:
Both Kids: Tell me, what is it you want to do with your one wild and precious life?
What will we do with our one wild and precious life?
What is it you want to do with your one wild and precious life?
Conclusion
You’ve been listening to State of the Human, the Podcast of the Stanford Storytelling Project.
Allie: Any final thoughts on death?
Lazarre: Ok, period.
Producer credits: This episode was produced by Aparna Verma, Will Shan, Isabella Tilley, Regina Kong, Lena (LEEna) Lee, and Allie Wollner. Special thanks to Simone and Lazarre Elias (ee-LAI-us) for reading quotes about death.
For their generous financial support, we’d like to thank the Vice Provost for Undergraduate Education, The Program in Writing and Rhetoric, Stanford Arts, and Bruce Braden.
Our story has come to an end, but it’s not dead, visit our website, where you can find this and every episode of State of the Human
storytelling.stanford.edu.
You never know when you’re going to (cuts off, dead air)
Parking Lot
Aparna Cold Open
*with dialogue: characterize the speakers i.e. “My mom said ‘....’ and my brother said ‘....’ He decided to pray to and keep the dead in his prayers.
It was 6 in the morning when I woke up to the sound of screaming. It came from the inner rooms, and I was in the outer room. I heard the adults running across the courtyard to the sound of the screaming and so, being only 12-years-old, I went back to sleep and let the adults handle it.
Later, I asked my mother what happened. She said that the spirit of my dead aunt had entered into my cousin’s grandma. The spirit was mad at my younger aunt, Rajini, for not keeping the dead relative in her prayers. The spirit was mad that Rajini was forgetting her.
I was incredulous to say the least. We were in India, and although spooky stuff does happen there, I couldn’t believe it. But then my brother, who was 9, told me that it was true. My cousin’s grandma had fainted after the spirit left her and when she woke up, she couldn’t remember anything.
And then my brother said something I can never forget. He told me that he believed in God now because the dead don’t stay dead. Ghosts and spirits are a real thing.
It’s hard to make sense of life without making sense of death.
Do the dead stay dead? What does it mean to die?
Show Notes & Producer Credits
Produced by Aparna Verma, Isabella Tilley, Will Shan, Lena Lee, Regina Kong, and Alessandra Wollner.Music: Téki (with Les Gauchers Orchestra), Lee Maddeford, Instrumentals kate bush, johnny_ripper, epilogue.